for now

anaesthetic by Alistair Chong

when i feel nothing
i don't mind
stop the gears crushing
myself up inside
when i've severed
my soul and heart
sometimes it's better
than crumbling apart

left on the shelf
for now i'm spent
numb to myself
i am content

each other they ignore
mind, heart for now mutual
the world simpler to explore
to view through eyes neutral
too tried, empty to feel
i am left to others
saving me from the real
i barely care to bother

left on the shelf
for now i'm spent
numb to myself
i am content

is it safer this way
i don't want to hurt again
but to do so is feeling
my heartbeat my soul breathe